I've got big news!

Well hello, old friend! It seems this space hasn't seen much action the past few months... and that was never my intention. Not to make excuses, or really apologize for the absence, but things at work got very exhausting after the summertime, which led to me feeling less than inspired creatively, so this space just got shoved to the wayside. I've been posting on Instagram pretty regularly though, so if you'd like to keep up with me, or you just like cat photos, that's the place to be. There's lots of fun stuff there that I never shared here, like my trips to France, Spain, & Portland, getting a perm, and then cutting most of my hair off a few months later. I think I owe you guys some photos! But anyways, Shawn and I have some pretty big news and I thought this would be a fitting time to make my way back over to this little corner of the internet.

And before you even think it, NO, we are not pregnant. Let's just get that out of the way real quick, k, thanks. Actually, it's much more exciting than that! Well, at least we seem to think so. I'm not sure if the cats will agree, but hey, they're kinda stuck with us so I think they'll just go with it.

We're moving to Portland, Oregon!

I feel I should preface this by saying it's not an entirely impulsive decision. We've actually been talking about moving to the west coast in some capacity for the past six years or so, but it wasn't until about a year and a half ago that we finally started setting active goals to get there. And then a few months ago, once we realized it was finally a realistic possibility, we really committed to the idea and began looking into what it would take to get out there.

Originally we planned on buying an RV or converting a van and traveling around the country for a few months before settling down somewhere. But we kept coming back to the same question: What about the cats? I know some people have had success traveling longterm with their cats, but it's just not a stress we were willing to put on the boys, and honestly the whole permanent camping idea seemed slightly fiscally irresponsible for our current situation. I know there are plenty of jobs that can be done on the road, but it's not a sector we're all that familiar with yet, and we want to spend some more time considering all the options. So we ultimately decided to put that plan on hold for a few years and focus on something a little more attainable... moving across the country! We considered Colorado, northern California, Washington, and Oregon... and ultimately decided on Portland being the place to be.

Everyone who asked us, "Why Portland?" was shocked to hear we had never even been there before. So then the obvious question followed, "But what if you don't like it?" It's hard to explain, but sometimes you feel a pull towards a certain place/person/idea, and it just feels right. And that's exactly what happened here - we never had any worries about not liking it. Everyone I've talked to who has been there lights up when you mention Portland. Deep down, we just had a feeling it was going to be the right place for us, for now. (That's the funny thing about moving... you can do it as often as you'd like, to wherever you'd like. We just said, hey if Portland doesn't work out, we'll go somewhere else!) I flew over there last week and stayed with some local friends to really get a feel for the city, do a few job interviews and check out some potential apartments. And as it turns out, I absolutely fell in love with the city.


What's not to like?? Food culture is huge there- the city is filled with restaurants that can satisfy an endless array of palates. (So many Thai restaurants!) You can get alcohol at any food establishment, including cafes and places you wouldn't normally expect to find liquor/beer/wine. Speaking of beer, the city is loaded with local breweries... and speaking of wine, the local stuff is actually good! (Sorry east coast, but your wine sucks.) Everyone I interacted with while out there was so gosh-darn nice. I know it sounds cliche at this point, but there really is a distinct cultural difference between the fast-paced in-your-face East coast, and the laid-back good-vibes West coast; I felt it. People ask, "What do you have planned for the rest of your day?", and they actually want to know. Meanwhile, on the East coast, people barely have time to listen to your response when they carelessly ask, "Hey, how are you?". The city blocks are small, and super easy to navigate. It's super bike-friendly, in fact, I didn't notice much vehicular traffic at all. The beach, mountains, and wine country are just a short drive away. And, oh yeah, weed is legal there, if you're into that kinda thing.

So at the end of March we'll be driving the cats, along with a select few other things we care about, all the way across the country to our new home. Currently the plan is to spend about ten days driving across, which should give us enough time to see a few things along the way, but not so much time that the cats will be completely traumatized by the trip (fingers crossed that they'll travel well). A few weeks ago, the end of March felt so far away, but now we're on crunch time! We have a few more details to figure out before then, and a lot more things to pack up too... but it feels so good to put it all out in the open and finally start this next adventure together!

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More Brain Blabber

I'm currently procrastinating on doing the dishes. Maybe it's too early to claim this, seeing as this is only the second post in this "series", but it seems like every time I do one of these posts I have something in the oven. Today it's granola. I ran out about two weeks ago and had every intention of making some last week, but with temperatures in the 80's, there was no (f-ing) way I was turning on the oven for 40 minutes. So I pushed off the reminder on my phone every day for another 24 hours. Well, today's the day! I had to run to Whole Foods to grab some honey because it's the only thing I forgot to grab initially. Of course, a trip to Whole Foods never ends up being cheap - you go in there for one or two things and walk out with a bag full of stuff... I know I can't be the only one who continuously finds myself in this predicament. Today I went in for celery and honey, and walked out with those things, plus four yogurts, mayonnaise, dijon mustard, and tonic water. To be fair, I also made chicken salad today and needed the mayo and mustard. The yogurts and tonic water were pure indulgence. They were out of my fancy tonic... they've been out of it for weeks! I settled on the store brand tonic - I ain't that picky, man, I just want some tonic to have with my gin. Speaking of which, I'm due for another trip to the liquor store... I'm running low on gin. I love Hendrick's gin but I also hate it. Why? Because the bottle is opaque and heavy, so I can't ever tell how much is left. So one day I'll be pouring myself a shot and it'll be the last one in the bottle. Hence why I now keep two gins on hand at all times. Errrrr... yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. To be honest, I never fancied myself a gin drinker. I think people are always surprised to hear that I am. I mean, gin, it's one of those spirits most people pass over. It's basically herbal vodka. I tried one once that was too heavy on the juniper and I had to fight my way through the bottle, but for the most part, I love them all. Anyways, I think that's about all I have to say about gin.

I've been watching quite a few TED Talks lately. That's nothing new, but what is new, is that I've been taking notes while watching them. You guys, this is a big thing for me! I mean, one, I'm terrible at taking notes. (Thank goodness for the pause button, amiright?) And two, I'm a kinesthetic learner, so I have a really hard time just sitting there and listening to things. (This is why I don't do podcasts... that's another thing people are always shocked to hear. Why is that?) I started taking notes on a whim - the TED Talk I was watching at the time just seemed to be calling me to write things down. All of a sudden, I was able to actually pay attention and take in the information better than I ever have before. I thought, "Why the hell haven't I been doing this? This is amazing!" So I've been doing it with most of the talks I've watched since. It. Is. Awesome. I seem to find myself scrounging for paper two minutes into each talk. I think I may need to start using a notebook, instead of grabbing whatever is closest to me (usually mail) and writing on that. Not only are the talks motivating me because I'm able to absorb them better, but I'm inspired to watch more of them. Seriously, grab some paper and try it. Maybe you'll find it's your jam too.

So, yesterday I ordered some business cards and bought a new domain name. Both for yoga. I liked the idea of having a website on my cards, so I came up with a name, and bought 50 cards. (Mo is what some friends affectionately call me. I figured yogawithmarine might be confusing... plus, YoMoCo has a better ring to it.) I figured that by having the cards, it would motivate me to create the website. Perhaps that's a bit backwards, but I tend to do things that way. I have this idea that one of these days I'll start posting short yoga sequence videos, so in my head it made sense to have a website to post them to. Is this something y'all would be interested in? 20-30 minute free yoga sequences? I can already picture the wall I would film them in front of in our front room... I just have to get some more birch tree decals for it. And then maybe I could offer longer sequences for a subscription fee? I don't know. I suppose I should start with the small stuff and work my way up. I'm terrible at these things - I'm all ideas and no action. Actually, I watched a TED Talk about that recently too. It's so hard to change the habits that are ingrained in you! I'm such a procrastinator. Always have been, probably always will be. But I am really diggin' this idea! I want to share my yoga with you - it's a big part of my life and it deserves a spot here (or there) too.

It's honestly part of the reason I haven't been posting as much here lately... a lot of the stuff I used to post about seems so trivial compared to what I want to be posting about. I want more posts like this! More down to earth, from the heart posts. I actually feel weird about my Fun Finds Friday posts lately too. I've been trying to get out of that materialistic mindset and it seems counterintuitive to post photos of things I "want", when I'd rather be posting more links to things that I find interesting, or mind-blowing, or whatever. But in my head I've built up this idea that all posts should have at least one photo to accompany them, so I've kept posting the visual wish lists too, even though I feel odd about it. I mean, I just posted my 140th Fun Finds Friday post... am I wrong to worry that changing the idea of them at this point would be weird? Perhaps I'm overthinking it (most likely true). You guys probably wouldn't care if those posts became more writing/linkage than photos. I don't know. Your feedback is appreciated :) I just feel like my priorities have changed over the past few months and blogging isn't as fulfilling as it used to be. I still love this space and want to keep it around, but it hasn't been feeling much like me and I'm not sure how to put some of the things I want to write about into words. Does that make sense? I hope so, because I want to keep y'all around, but I also want to make sure this space is worth you stopping by for.

Well, that's enough blabber for today. I dig this though. It feels... authentic. Let's do this more often :)

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Intentions for 2017

I've been thinking all month long about what I want my intentions to be for this year, with the intention (haha - get it?) of sharing them here with all of you. But the deeper we get into January, the more I've been stressing out about getting this posted before the end of month (because doesn't everyone make their intentions at the beginning of the month, and if I wait til the end of the month, I may as well wait til the end of the year... and then none of these other posts I have planned for this year will ever pan out and I'll never get half of the shit on my to-do list crossed off and I'll be a failure at living any sort of a productive life and AGHHHH!) I have to remind myself to calm the f*ck down and just sit down and write sometimes. There is a serious disconnect between my brain and my fingers most of the time. The problem is that the times when I have the most brilliant revelations and thoughts, are always when I am not in a place to write any of it down. So by the time I get there, everything is already lost in translation. Does that makes sense? Do other bloggers/writers/crazy people have this problem? I don't know. Anyways, enough rambling; let's get to the bulk of the post here: my intentions for 2017.

I struggled with whether or not to make actual concrete goals this year like I have in the past or whether to live this year with certain concepts in mind like I did last year. Then I came to the realization that I can do both! I can pick an intention, and apply it to my goals. They may sound like the same thing, but I don't believe that they are. Intentions seem to leave room for freedom whereas goals tend to be more concrete and determined. I think each have their place in our lives. What my yoga practice has taught me though is that living life with intentions and constantly working towards those intentions leads to a powerful and more fulfilling existence. And that we may very well be working on certain intentions forever - it's part of the practice, it's part of life!

My intention last year was mindfulness, and I really only dipped my toes in. This year, I'm hoping to apply it to more areas of my life. I'm actually working on a Mindfulness Series for the blog! It's something I thought up after having a few ideas for posts that were all mindfulness-based and it occurred to me that I have the opportunity to turn it into a series. So keep your eyes peeled for that. I'm hoping to do one post a month, or so. We'll see how it all pans out.

As far as more concrete goals go, I do have a few this year. They're pretty loose, yet attainable. I'm generally pretty terrible with these sorts of things, so I'm giving myself space to breathe. They're also very much related to being more mindful. Most of these are actually going to be broken down further in the mindfulness series, so if I'm a little vague here, don't worry - we'll delve further into these later on!


+ Unplug
As much as I try and mostly succeed at not being sucked in by my phone and the tv, the computer is a whole different story. I can easily sit in front of the screen, browsing and reading, and next thing I know a few hours have gone by and I haven't done anything to really nourish myself. Then there are those days when I realize I haven't touched the computer even once all day, my phone is no where to be found, and the tv has yet to have been turned on that day... I love those days! I want more of those days. I'd like to spend more time reading books, coloring pages, sketching things, writing with a physical pen... really doing things that feed the soul. Ideally, I'd love to unplug completely for one day a week. Realistically, I'd love to do it at least one day a month. Hopefully I can land somewhere between the two.

+ Teach yoga
I'll be a certified yoga teacher by this time next month! I should be able to teach at least one class a week at the studio where I've been doing my training, but I'd also like to explore other options and really see where it takes me. I'm actually planning on sending out some feelers over the weekend; I have a few places in mind. Teaching will hopefully help me implement a more regular home practice in my life too, since I'll need to work on sequences for classes. I've already noticed a difference in my everyday life, in the sense that I view every conversation and occurrence as a possible theme for classes. Bring it on!

+ Meditate
I never meditated until last year when it was introduced to me during yoga teacher training. It's a really great thing to be doing, and I don't do it nearly enough. I was on a roll for a while, meditating every morning, and really starting to see the benefits of it spreading into the rest of my day. Then I switched jobs and subsequently started waking up at 3am for work, and my meditation was the first thing to go out the window. So the meditation doesn't happen as often as I would like because I really do like meditating first thing in the morning. I need to form a new routine and stick to it.

+ Save money
I used to be pretty good with my money, but it seems that over the years my concept of spending and saving responsibly has gotten a little loose. (I think it goes hand in hand with "well, I'm making more money now, so it's fine, I can buy this.") I'd really like to tighten my finances back up this year! I've been talking to other people about methods they use for saving, and I've got lots of good ideas about it now. I need to sit down and come up with a realistic budget. This is a huge thing for me. Like, real adulting right here!

+ Shop less
This was also a goal last year, but I made it way too concrete and failed miserably. Well, I failed at limiting myself, but I succeeded at being more thoughtful about my shopping habits. In fact, in doing so, I actually changed my shopping habits! So this year, I'd like to continue... not by limiting myself to a specific amount, but by continuing to browse less and purchase more intentionally. (This also goes hand in hand with saving money...) Something I'd also really like to focus on this year is buying more ethically and sustainably.

+ Post more often
Last year I ended up posting the least amount I've posted since 2012. I'm not setting myself up for anything specific here... I feel like every year I say "I'm going to post more recipes!" and every year I come up short. I'm not really concerned with what the content will be specifically, I just know I'd like to post more content in general. I'm hoping that doing a Mindfulness Series will inspire me to bring more insightful content to the blog, even outside of the series. And yes, I would like to post more recipes, especially since I've been cooking so much more! Ideally I'd love to be posting 2-3 times a week, but honestly, that's probably still a stretch for me. But if I can do it, while still keeping the content organic and not rushed, I'd like to!

+ Have more dance parties
I threw this one in for fun. And I'm not talking actual parties here... I want more of that feel good, move like no-one's watching, ridiculously exaggerated kinda dancing we all do on our own time. I think we all need more solo dance parties! (That's my campaign, and I'm sticking to it.) More dance parties a la Hugh Grant in Love Actually. I mean seriously, who doesn't feel good after a quick dance session? Also, I don't know about you, but I'm more likely to clean the apartment when there's dance music playing. Just sayin'.



Did you set intentions/goals this year? Got any pointers for how to stay on point?
* Intention cards are from here.

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So this is 29....

I am officially 29 years old as of today Saturday! (I meant to get this post up over the weekend... oops!) I've been alive for almost three whole decades... isn't that a scary thought? I'm 29 years old... and 29 years young, and I feel both every day. Do you ever stop feeling like a child? I mean, will any of us ever really feel grown up? Because some days I feel like I'm a teenager all over again. And I think as long as we have our parents around, we'll always feel like kids. Like we don't know enough (or we know way too much), and we still need help with things that seem silly. I think that is growing up, but I don't really know what being a grown up means. If it means paying bills on time, and budgeting, and planning for the future, then yeah, I guess I'm not too bad at being a grown up. But those things also still scare me, and I don't know if that feeling ever goes away. But, here's to 29 - the last year of my third decade!

I don't usually make a big deal about my birthday, except to treat it as MY DAY. My day to do whatever the heck I want! Which usually means eating things like cookies and Nutella, and watching terrible tv shows, and drinking gin. (No different than most days, if we're being honest...) This year was different though! My parents were in town, so I drove out to see them and my siblings joined us for lunch. We always have a great time as a family... too good of a time! I'm certain we kept our waiter entertained (he was cracking up alongside us). And on Sunday I attended a backbends workshop at my yoga studio - love me some backbends! I also stayed up late to watch the season premier of The Walking Dead... (let's just not talk about that, ok?) Monday, Shawn and I went out to lunch, followed by an afternoon of binge-watching Netflix (I've got some good recommendations for you guys!). And today I treated myself to a massage - my first real one. It was awesome. And that concludes my birthday weekend! I never intended for it to turn into a long weekend... but October has been a busy month! 28 was a busy year!

29 is... (or rather, 28 was...)

• Renewing your driver's license before it expires, and making sure you go in for the photo on a good hair day.
• Splurging on black jeans with your birthday coupon instead of the bag or the skirt you want... because you know the jeans are more practical for your lifestyle.
• ...and then returning them two days later and getting the bag instead anyway, because fuck it, it's your god-damn birthday and you're gonna treat yourself.
• Also treating yourself to a new dress. And a massage. Because it's your birthday. And because some things are good for the brain, and some things are good for the body. And neither are good for the wallet. We're still learning here.
• Learning to ask for help when you need it. (Why is asking for help such a shameful thing in our society?!)
• Pursuing your happiness. You're still figuring out what it is, but you sure as hell know what it's not.
• Taking it easy every few days. And being okay with that. You're still young enough to feel the itch to constantly be doing something, but old enough to realize when your body needs a break too.
• Doing things for yourself. (See above: Happiness) I don't mean doing your own laundry and buying your own groceries.... I mean thinking about what you want to do for you, and finding a way to make it happen. There is always a way.
• Appreciating other people. Or at least attempting to find something to appreciate in each person. Hint: It's not always easy.
• Being yourself. You're amazing! Realize it, and embrace it.

That last one is important. Birthdays are just another day, another mark on the calendar of a year gone by far too quickly. Take the time to reflect about what you learned that year, and how you grew as a person. Chances are, you're a better person coming out than you were going in. Isn't that beautiful? That's what birthdays are about. Well, that plus cake and shiny new things....

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Brain Blabber

In light of my recent determination to be more "myself" here, I thought I'd try a stream of consciousness post. I'm hoping to make a series of these, maybe once a month (but don't hold me to that - please, I'm serious, don't.) and I'm calling it brain blabber... because that's pretty much what you're about to get. A whole lotta jumbled thoughts on one page. Are you ready?

Right now there's a whole chicken (yes, a whole f*cking five pound(!) chicken) poaching on my stove. I have never poached a whole chicken before. You know why? Because I don't have a pot big enough to do that in... of course I realized this too late, and I'm just going with it. The water jussssssst barely covers the chicken, and may will probably boil over, but whatever. I'm making chicken soup, and if you wanna make a proper chicken soup, you have to poach the chicken. I don't really know how long that takes though... it's 5:30pm now, so hopefully it will be done by dinner time? Clearly poor planning on my part. I was at work earlier today and decided that I would go home and poach a chicken. I also decided that tomorrow I'm making squash, sweet potato, turkey chili. It's the season for soup and chili, right? If I'm going to do this, I may as well go all out. I bought an acorn squash... I've never cooked an acorn squash before. I don't do cold weather squash. But what the hell - I'm going to try it! Hopefully it's a success and I'll have two new recipes for you soon. (Ha!) I say that every time I make something, right? When was the last time I actually posted a recipe here? Hmm... looks like March. Yeah. Let's work on that.

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend and we got to talking about blogs. I told her I'm working on a new layout for mine that I am super excited about! (You guys, I am so super excited about the new layout!!!! I can't wait to get it live! Ahhh! What am I doing posting my thoughts when I should be working on the new layout?!?!) She said she has been wanting to start a blog for a while, but she can't decide on what the content should be because she has a few different directions she wants to take it. I had to laugh, because I don't feel as though this blog has a particular direction... I post about daily life, cats, traveling, and (occasionally) recipes. But isn't that the beauty of blogs these days? There's something for everyone. I mean really though - think of something you want to read more about and I'm certain you'll find a blog about it. And as we were talking, it occurred to me that the blogs I've really been enjoying lately aren't about the content. I mean sure, I read certain blogs for the content, but the ones I really enjoy, I read because of the blogger's voice. I read them because I want to know more about that person, or because the way they write makes them feel familiar to me. It's like... what I'm going to call the Seinfeld-syndrome. They could write about absolutely nothing but I would still enjoy it because of the voice of the writing. I guess my point is, it's not always about the content. And I struggle with that! (That's why I'm writing this post.) I think I forget that it doesn't always have to be pretty pictures and tailored paragraphs. Sometimes stuff like this (this brain blabber) is what people want to read too. Because that's what I enjoy reading! So, I should embrace that.

I turn 29 next Saturday. And I'm excited! And yet, not? I'm just really excited to be that much closer to turning 30. Is that weird? I feel like most people are afraid of turning 30... and here I am all like "Come on, let's get on with this already!". Guh. The last year of my 20's. Am I supposed to do something big? Like one of those 30 before 30 things that people do - you know, that thing where you list 30 things you want to do before you turn 30? Ha! My head is so far in the future most of the time that I don't even think I could come up with 30 things I want to do within the next year. Hm. Perhaps that's thought for food, err, food for thought. I guess I have a little over a week to come up with a list then, hm? Oh goodness, did I just commit myself to this 30 before 30 thing? I think I just did.

You guys. This chicken water thing I have on the stove smells SO GOSH DARN GOOD. If salmonella weren't a thing, I would totally have a taste right now. How do I know when it's done cooking?! Cooking chicken kinda freaks me out a bit - I'm always so afraid I'm going to under or over cook it! I guess that's why I have one of those thermometer stick things...

I am so tired right now. I work Sundays thru Thursdays, 4am til noon. I'm two months into the new job and that early wake-up time is my biggest struggle. Every night I try to be in bed by 8:30pm, and every night I find myself putzing around until about 9:30pm. Which means every afternoon I just want to collapse into our couch for a two-hour nap. And even the nights when I do manage to go to bed early and get at least seven hours of sleep, I'm still tired when I wake up because I'm usually waking up in the middle of a dream. I feel like I just can't win here! But I think it's worth it, because I do really like this job. It's funny, one of the things I like about it is the same thing I don't like about it. It's the same thing every day. I'm so not used to that! Every other job I've worked had variety to it, but this one is the same tasks, same schedule, every single day. And I really like that, because it means I know exactly what I'm walking into every morning. But I also don't like that, because sometimes I need some variety in my daily life. So it's a struggle sometimes... the early mornings and the lack of variety. But I like my boss and my colleagues and I've learned so many new things, so I think it's worth it. I also love that my boss speaks to me in French (because he's French, and I'm French); I don't get many opportunities to speak French anymore, so it has been really great practice for me. It also means we have conversations that the rest of my colleagues don't understand, so I feel kinda special in that way ;) It's funny, my whole life I attributed certain qualities and mannerisms to my parents/family, because I didn't know any French people outside of my family. But now, I realize that a lot of the things I thought were just personal quirks, are actually cultural attributes. Like, oh, my aloofness and directness is actually just me being French. (Maybe that's why people think the French are rude?) That's kind of cool! I wonder what else is a cultural thing? I want to meet more French people!

Okay. It may be nap time. I know I have that chicken on the stove... but I can doze off for twenty minutes or so, right? Don't answer that.... I don't want to burn our apartment down either. I'll just find something silly to watch on Netflix. Got any recommendations? I just finished Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt. Friends have recommended that I watch Chef's Table. And My Psycho Ex-Girlfriend. Oh! And there's a new season of New Girl to watch! Yesssssss.

Pssst! That photo up there is just a cropped view from our balcony... We have view of a few buildings and a parking lot, but I tell Shawn to just look at the trees in the distance and imagine we're living in the mountains somewhere. If you crop out all the buildings, it kinda works!

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Oh, baby

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Last Tuesday, Shawn and I became aunt & uncle to our first ever nephew, Avery Vladimir Lau. (What a big name for such a small human!) Not only is it our first nephew, but it's his mom's first grandchild too... so I guess it's a pretty big deal! His brother lives a few hours away from us, so we probably won't meet the little dude until Thanksgiving, but to be perfectly frank, I am a-ok with that. Newborns are weird! They look like little aliens and, as my friend Amy so eloquently put it, "all they do is sleep, eat, piss, and poop". (To which I responded, "well, that's all we really do in essence too, we just added all the other stuff in for shits and giggles." I mean, really. Think about it.) I am not what you would call a baby person. Luckily for me, neither is Shawn!

I've probably alluded to it on the blog before, but I have never really had any desire to be a mother- there are no ticking clocks or maternal instincts in this body! In fact, the thought of carrying something inside me for nine months and then having to raise it for 18+ years is downright yucky gross repulsive uncomfortable scary << all of the above. I don't believe all that "Oh but having kids will change your life!" BS that new parents spout to make themselves feel better about the fact that kids have taken over their lives. (No disrespect to my parents, who raised three strong and amazing children!) But while I have no desire to nurse anything other than a hangover (and even that's iffy), I've always said that I look forward to being an aunt. And that day has finally come! I always thought it would be one of my siblings first, but that's because I never accounted for there being, well, other siblings in the picture. (You know, sibling-in-laws. Side note: who the heck ever thought the term in-laws was worth keeping around?!) Now that I have a nephew, I'm actually kind of excited! It's like holding someone else's ice cream cone for them while they tie their shoe, and you can steal a few licks but give it back once it starts to melt. (Did I really just compare having a nephew to holding someone's ice cream cone? I did.) I mean, I'm not saying I'll be volunteering to babysit or anything... but it's kinda cool imagining the type of aunt and uncle we'll be. (Probably the kind that say "don't tell your parents we let you do this!!!")

Anyways, all of that to say that I rounded up a few congratulatory little-human cards for you, in case you know anyone who is expecting. You can really go in all kinds of directions with baby cards, depending on what your stance is on kids. I bought this one in a pinch, but I'm kinda upset because there are so many other fun ones out there! Another one I contemplated just had text across the front that read "Congratulations on your little tax deduction." Yep. Tell them how you really feel!

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Current State of Mind

I'm sure you've noticed I haven't been posting very often the past few months. Pretty much ever since we moved. I wanted to attribute it to not having the office set up, and dealing with all the stuff we had to deal with the past few months, but the truth is, between all the big life changes, I'm struggling with the concept of this blog. I haven't been happy with the content for a long time now. We love the cats, and I know you all love the cats, but I never intended for the blog to be 95% cat posts...

I've been feeling... inauthentic as of late. Like, there are so many things I have/want to say but I don't know the right way to say them and I don't know if this is the space for all those thoughts. Then I feel silly because this is my space and I can say whatever the heck I want to, right??? And isn't that why you all keep coming back here? (Hey, if you keep coming back here only for cat photos, I completely understand and no judgement there!) But I feel as though I've lost my voice here. And I hate that! If I can't be myself on my own blog, then what the heck am I doing here?!

I was recently talking with one of my new colleagues about how, in the food industry, the people we work with quickly become our family. We spend so much time together that it's easy to get to know one another on a more personal level. But even knowing each other personally isn't the same as knowing each other intimately. I was reflecting upon how the majority of conversations I have with other people, even a lot of people close to me, are very much on the surface. As a society we're reluctant to get intimate with many people. For good reasons, of course! I don't need everyone on the street to know my business. And I'm not one to hesitate when it comes to speaking my mind, but I would love to be able to speak more freely. To make deeper connections with people. And I want this space to be a reflection of that. I'd like to be able to speak my mind, and tell you guys more of what's going on in my life, in my brain. There's no shame in any of that!

Lately I've been wondering if I even want to keep blogging. I love this community! But I often feel as though I don't have much to say. Or that I can't find the words for the things I do want to say. I used to be so much more eloquent - I don't know what happened. We get older, and we lose that teenage angst, and the words just don't come as freely anymore. That's something I've been meaning to work on... and the best way to work on that is to write more, right? Even writing this post is stressing me out because I feel like there's so much I wanted to say, but it's just not coming out the way I want it to. My words don't reflect me. But they do! The things we say and do are the biggest things people have to judge us by, right? So why is it so hard to be authentic when we're writing? Some of my favorite bloggers are the ones whose posts read like conversations. I'm actually jealous of that! I don't feel like myself on here sometimes. I feel too.... edited sometimes.

I have always tried to be true to myself and to reflect that self onto others. But I haven't been doing a very good job of that lately - I don't feel like you guys are getting a taste of the real me here anymore. And I intend to change that. No more scratching the surface- I want to get deep with you! (Well that sounds sexual, doesn't it?) Let's get real. I'd like to give you more than just cat photos and wish lists. I want this to be a space for conversations. (Even if they're just one-sided.) I want this to be a space for thoughts and feelings. (Even I'm much more thought, than feeling.) I want this to be an authentic space. I want to claim this space as my own again.

Let this post serve as the beginning of a shift back to authenticity. I would be delighted if you would join me on this journey!

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On Fitness

mat | shirt | shorts | shoes
The last time I wrote about fitness the whole post was kind of a downer, despite positive highlights. That was almost two years ago though and I'm happy to say that lately, I've been in a much better mental state about my body and fitness in general. Part of that is because, despite my love of alcohol and salty foods, I'm the healthiest I've been in years. Another (big) part of that is because I've been embracing positive thoughts and having a positive attitude has seeped into every aspect of my life. I've been taking each day, each week as it comes. Some days are self-proclaimed lazy overly-indulgent days, and that's okay! I also work a fairly physically grueling job, where I'm on my feet for 8-9 hours a day, running up and down stairs at least 20 times a day (I've never actually counted), and lifting up to 50 pounds some days, so if I don't do anything but that most days, that's okay too!

But actually, I've been wanting to write this post because my exercise "routine" has been pretty on point lately. One of my friends & colleague moved into our neighborhood three months ago and she and I have been running 2-3 days a week together. She comes from a family of runners and has the endurance of a cheetah, whereas I struggle to run half a mile without getting out of breath (but that's okay!). It has been a really fun two months so far though, and I've seen my endurance improve dramatically. Our runs are usually about 2.5 miles long and last about 20 - 25 minutes, but I can now run 1.5 miles without stopping to walk or get out of breath! The goal is to get to the point where we're running 5k (3.1 miles) every time we go out for a run. It feels really great to have some cardio back in my life, and it has been a nice contrast to my other physical activity - yoga.

I've had an on-and-off relationship with yoga for the past eight years. The short story is, my mom introduced me to it back in 2008 and I fell in love with the practice, though it was mainly just a way to exercise at that point in my life. Then Shawn and I moved to Philadelphia in 2010 and I had a hard time finding a studio that I liked... when I finally found one, they closed their doors a few months later. I tried practicing at home but we've never had an apartment that has been conducive to it (that and, cats + yoga mat = trouble, right?). So I kind of forgot about yoga for a while, even though I still really wanted to do it. Then in 2014 I finally found a studio with great teachers and my yoga practice began once more. Over the past year and a half, yoga has become so much more than a physical exercise for me; it has made it's way into my mind and into my spirit. I've been taking things I learn on the mat and finding ways that they apply to my life off the mat. I've never felt more connected to myself, and the world around me!

Doing a yoga teacher training has been a thought dream of mine for a few years now, but it was always too expensive, or the schedule too inconvenient... and then I realized that maybe those were just excuses and the reality was that I just wasn't mentally or spiritually ready to start one. Like everything else in my life, my practice had to evolve to a point where what I want is just the logical next step. (There's my life philosophy...) And so, now eight years into my relationship with yoga, I'm finally doing a yoga teacher training! I followed one of my favorite teachers to a new studio this year, and when they announced their first ever teacher training program, I knew I had to be a part of it. Everything just felt right. It finally felt like the logical next step. The last studio I went to was very alignment-focused, and I learned a lot from them. This studio is more about spirituality and that's more in line with where I am in my life currently. It's a 10-month long training (one weekend every month from May - February; that's how I'm able to fit it into my work schedule), and this weekend is the first weekend. I'm so excited!!! And nervous. But mostly excited! I really just can't wait to see how this training transforms my practice, in all aspects.

So be prepared for a few yoga-centric posts in the next year (maybe). It's just another aspect of my life I want to share with you guys. Hopefully I'll have some very introspective things to say.... and if not, well at least I can share a few simple poses that you can all incorporate into your daily lives. I worry sometimes about being a "yoga-pusher", but really, I just love to share my enthusiasm for it. It's something we can all benefit from, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually, so I really encourage everyone to tap into their personal yoga.


Annnnnnnnd here's a gratuitous shot of Sylvester saying "Mama, don't go to yoga tonight!" :)

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A Love Letter to Trader Joe's

My dearest TJ -

Oh, how I love thee; you make me weak in the knees. I have come to rely upon your ever-growing selection of soul-satisfying goods. Although your produce is often lacking, I find an immeasurable amount of joy in the many packaged goods that you offer. The low prices, the lack of gut-wrenching additives, and the forever-positive demeanor of your staff are what keep me coming back to you, time and time again. If I could buy you a bouquet of roses to prove my love for you, I would... but you already greet me with them upon my arrival, each and every time.

But what I adore the most is that you provide me comfort in the most trying of hours. Your Chai spice latte mix helps break up the brain fog that mornings generally bestow upon me. Such a sweet nectar, it is. The perfect blend of warmth, comfort, and fullness that my body craves during the cold dark early hours of the day. And in the evenings, after my mind and body have been hardened by the day's activities, I find the same comfort in your tonic water when paired with one of my many botanic spirits. (Now, let's be honest - I do believe the spirits are doing much of the work, but the tonic is a suitable companion in it's own right!) One simply cannot deny the reality of these simple pleasures.

Even on the shortest of visits, I find something new to admire about you. And yes, I am aware that you have many admirers, but I do believe that my love for you will never die.

Forever yours,
Marine

---

Brought to you in silliness, in light of tomorrow's "holiday". I'm serious though, their chai latte mix is AWESOME (and so much cheaper than *bucks!) and I was so very pleased to see that they recently started carrying tonic water, as it is nearly impossible to find corn syrup-free tonic anywhere around here. Trader Joe's gets two giant thumbs up in my book!

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2015 Goals Review

With 2016 nipping at our heels, it seems like a good time to look back on the goals I set for 2015....

+ Stay positive
I spent a lot of my younger years calling myself a "realist". This is the first year I can honestly say I felt like I looked at the world with a positive (albeit skeptical) eye. That's not to say I haven't always had a relatively positive outlook on life, but this year I really tried to see the good in every person and situation. I tend to be very quick to judge people, so whenever I caught myself doing that, I brought myself back around to a more positive way of thinking. I'd say this goal was a success! (Yes, I'm positive about that ;D)

+ Be more present, more aware
This is an constant struggle for me as I seem to go through life with my head in the clouds most of the time. I felt slightly more grounded this year though, which means I was more present, more aware. I think yoga has helped a lot with this; I've certainly been more aware of myself and how my thoughts and actions can affect everything else in my life... Being more aware of my immediate surroundings will always be a work in progress though.

+ Shop local
Hm, this could go either way. While I was definitely more conscious of where my food/clothes/materials were coming from, it didn't stop me from buying things that weren't local. I think I succeeded in the overall philosophy of the goal, but not the goal itself... does that make any sense?

+ Keep up a regular yoga practice
Heck yeah I did! I went to at least one class per week all year, but usually more like 2-3 classes per week. I tried to practice at home at least once on the weeks when I couldn't make it to class. And I attended two yoga workshops! Both for arm balances, both informative and so much fun. This is a goal I'm super proud of achieving after not having a regular yoga practice for the past four years.

+ Participate in an Instagram yoga challenge
Nope, didn't do this. I'm still a little camera shy, especially when it comes to social media!

+ Run another 5K
This did not happen. This wasn't even thought about; I think I ran consistently for about two months at the beginning of the year, and then not at all.

+ Post more recipes on the blog
I actually succeeded at doing this! Still not nearly as many as I would have liked to have posted. But here are a few favorites from this year: whole wheat banana chocolate chip muffins, browned butter espresso brownies, turkey stuffed peppers with poblano crema, roasted summer vegetable quiche, and iced key lime pie fossil cookies.

+ Keep reading
Well, I didn't read much, but I certainly did keep reading! I also read pretty much only books off of my bookshelf, which helped me pare down my books a bit. I would have liked to have read more, but hey, there's always next year!

Speaking of next year, I guess it's time to start thinking about my goals for 2016....

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Second Year Reflections

On Monday Shawn and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. And by celebrate I mean, I worked until 4:30pm then we spent an hour figuring out where we should go eat, walked over to the restaurant and found it too busy for our liking, so we walked around the block while weighing our other options. We finally decided to pick up a six-pack at the deli down the street and make the most of our left-overs at home. Of course it was lightly raining during this whole charade (the kind of misty rain that doesn't seem like much but then you realize you're soaked from head to toe and you've only been standing in it for a few minutes...), so we were drenched by the time we arrived back home and thoroughly pleased with our decision to choose the couch over a cold pair of bar chairs. We ended up putting on Netflix's Bill Murray Christmas special while making pulled pork bacon burgers and fries. Yes, you read that correctly... our leftovers consisted of a half pound of ground beef, a little over a cup of pulled pork, two strips of bacon, and a few whole wheat hamburger buns. There's nothing like starting our third year as a legal couple with some over-the-top indulgence, no?


The first few months after we got married pretty much everyone we know asked us "So what's it like being married?"... at the time, it didn't feel any different. Shawn and I have known each other for eleven years, and have been living together for over five of them, so getting married really didn't feel like any significant sort of change. But now that we're two years into this thing, I've changed my tune. Forgive me for this awful metaphor, but....


Marriage is kind of like two people on a row boat together. You can both coast along and hope to get somewhere eventually, or you can put in the effort together and enjoy the ride. Sure, one person can row the boat on their own, but that's a lot of weight to push without the help of the other person. And as anyone who has been in a row boat knows, it’s not always a fun ride, and one wrong move by either person can rock the boat and then you both get wet (although sometimes, falling into the water isn't such a bad thing because you're more determined to row that damn boat once you both climb back in). But if you can enjoy the scenery, and you're both willing to put in the effort, the ride is beautiful.


Was that awful? That was awful. But I think it gets my point across.... relationships take work. Not all the time, I mean, a lot of the time it's smooth sailing (see, there I go again!) and those are the times that make it all worth it. Being married is a whole different beast, because you're tied to that person for real. It shouldn't change how you feel about each other, and it certainly shouldn't make things more difficult. But it should change your perspective at least a little bit. Relationships can be a bit selfish and still work. But marriage isn't selfish. A marriage takes two people. I'm not saying you need to give up being yourself, (Please, don't ever do that. You are amazing!), but you have to figure out what it means to be your best self when you're with that other person. Most of the time, that means setting aside your ego. Most disagreements happen because one person is too proud to let the other person have their way. Marriage is a give and take, and sometimes you're the one doing the giving, and other times you're the one doing the taking. These past two years have been a journey in finding the balance between the two.


Dude, you can't row that boat on your own. But you can watch the sun set over the lake's horizon every evening and cherish those moments together, and the work it took to get there.

(All photos taken by the lovely Rebecca Gudelunas of Wide Eyed Studios. We wanted "Christmas-y photos" for this year's holiday card. Don't worry, you'll see that one once I know everyone has received theirs! Also, I realized Shawn and I haven't had any decent photos of the two of us together since our wedding! So forgive me for this schmoopie-heavy post.)

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Change is in the air

Anyone who knows me personally knows that if I'm feeling stuck in a particular situation, I'm pretty quick to change my circumstances. Growing up I learned that if I'm not happy, I'm the one who needs to identify what is making me unhappy, and then change that. It's something that has stuck with me as I've gotten older, and it has become (what I think to be) an endearing aspect of my personality. Where most people tend to avoid change, I embrace it! There's just something about that figurative shifting of paths that calls to me and draws me in. Sometimes it's not the right path (and that's where most people get frightened and backtrack); but every path, right or wrong, eventually leads you somewhere...

People who know me personally also know that I'll often do things in spite of other people. Because, by golly, if you tell me to do something but you don't expect me to do it, I'll show you how it's done! I call it the Barney Stinson philosophy - "Challenge accepted!".



All of this to say... I start a new job in two one week, and I'M SO EXCITED!!!
(When I found out I officially got the job, I totally did this and a little bit of this.)
For the sake of a storyline though, let's backtrack a bit...
Shawn and I have been frequenting our favorite local brew cafe for almost two years now. We're pretty friendly with the staff because we go most Sunday afternoons, and because most of them also like to go have a beer or two where Shawn works. So when they announced that they were opening up a second location nearby and that they were hiring for it, I told Shawn that he should apply. I even helped him beef up his resume! Well, after pestering him for weeks about applying (and why he hadn't yet), he turned to me and said, "Why don't you apply? It sounds like you're the one that wants to work there."

It was like he had flipped a switch on in my brain, because after he said that, I couldn't stop thinking about it. So a few days later, I emailed them my resume. I casually told Shawn about it later in the day, since I knew he never expected me to actually apply. Heck, I had never even seriously considered getting a new job; it was more of a "What the heck, why not?" kind of move. Except that once the thought was in my head, I couldn't get it out of there. And the more I thought about it, the more I wanted the job. All the perks were there - the shortened commute (from 35-minute drive to 4-minute walk? Yes, please!), the different schedule (more time to actually see my husband? Yes, please!), the experience (bread and savory things? Yes, please!), oh, and all the beer doesn't hurt either. Once I thought about all the perks of a new job, my head went to the little things bothering me about my current job, and all of a sudden, the thought of change didn't sound like a bad idea.


I won't go into detail, but it took over a month between when I initially contacted them and when I officially got the job. I just had to be persistent! If you know what you want, you can usually get it. (Hey, it's how I got Shawn!) Just go for it! And don't be afraid of change - it can lead to something amazing.

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This is what 27 looks like...

Another year older, another year wiser. Wednesday was my first day as a 27 year old. After a certain point, people stop asking you how being another year older feels and just start asking you how it feels to be old. But I don't feel old. I definitely feel older (maybe not much wiser...), but I don't feel old. Old is a mindset. I've met plenty of people who are old according to their age, but still young according to their life philosophy. Personally, I can't wait to turn 30, 40, 50! Each year the hours, days, and weeks seem to move more quickly as time seems to slip away from our grasp. I remember being ten years old and summer felt like it lasted forever. Now summer is just a dream of years passed. (There's no such thing as summer in the working world.) Each month I find myself wondering how we got here so fast - how is almost November already?! - soon it will be Christmas, then New Years, and before I know it, I'll be 28 years old, wondering what happened to 2015. But as much as people tell you to live in the present, I can't help but think about the future. I'm so excited about the rest of my life, I can't wait to see what happens! It's like watching a movie, in fast forward. You get the gist of it of but the details are lost on you. The little things that get glossed over when you're more concerned about the big picture. I spent a lot of 26 focusing on the big picture, and it didn't really put me any closer to getting there. So this year, I want to focus more on the details. I'm excited about getting older, but I'm in no rush to get there. Time does a pretty good job of rushing things on its own.












My first day as a 27 year old was... eating a big ass breakfast from the deli next door, catching up on my guilty pleasure (Revenge) with my feline companions nearby, eating lunch with an old friend in a new place, toasting to a new year with champagne, and cooking a (semi) elaborate dinner with the man I love, while The Cable Guy played on as background noise. Oh, and donuts for dessert because, hey, it's my birthday.

I think 27 is going to be a good year. (I mean, it started with donuts. That's a good start.)

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On Body Image and Strength

I ran a 5K today! (With my siblings!)

The last time I did a 5K was ten years ago, and I was one of the volunteers handing out water. I don't run. Heck, I barely even exercise. I'm just lucky that my job keeps me on my feet for at least eight hours a day, otherwise... well, I don't want to imagine the otherwise. I used to do yoga 3-4 times a week, and I really loved it, and that was the best I'd ever felt in terms of feeling strong, and fit. Then I moved, and the next studio I started going to closed after a month of me joining. So I stopped doing yoga because I struggled with developing a home practice. Then, a few years later, I tried doing the 30 Day Shred for a bit, and I kept it up for about a month and then I stopped. Then I joined a gym that was within walking distance of our new apartment, and I was really enjoying the classes, and two weeks later they announced that they were closing. So I tried to get back into doing yoga and fitness stuff at home... and eventually I kept making excuses to avoid it. I've never been good at developing motivation, or staying motivated in general. And as much as I love yoga, classes are really expensive, and I just don't get the same satisfaction when I do it at home. But I really want to get back into some kind of exercise routine!

Growing up, I never really struggled with body image issues. Aside from an abundance of facial and back acne which sorted itself out once I started taking birth control pills, I really didn't feel negatively about the way I looked. Sure, my thighs touched, my breasts were small, and my arms were flabby, but for the most part, I was happy with my overall appearance. I mean, in high school it was more about the clothes you were wearing, right? Not so much the body underneath them. Well, that was my experience at least.

As I've gotten older though, my body has changed. I've developed wider hips and, oh-my-gosh, real bewbs! Like, really real big boobs. My thighs still touch and my arms still jiggle, and now I have what I can only refer to as a belly pooch. And even though this development has happened over the course of ten years, in the past year I've really started to struggle with keeping a positive body image. The size of my clothing and my weight hadn't fluctuated since high school... but earlier this spring I tried on some of my summer clothes that I've had for years, and I found out that they didn't physically fit me anymore. Then I measured myself and found out I had gained an inch across my bust, waist, and hips. Then I went in for a regular check up at the doctor's office and found out I had gained fifteen pounds over the past year.

My first thought was "Where?!" because I really have no idea what fifteen pounds looks like and honestly it sounded a lot worse than it actually was. Fifteen pounds sounds like a lot! And maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. All I know is that on the BMI scale, that extra fifteen pounds put me right on the cusp of being overweight. And knowing all of this made me feel really shitty. Really really shitty. And when I looked in the mirror at what I used to pay no mind to, all of a sudden I couldn't help but analyze every little bit of myself. I had started noticing the gain earlier this year, but it didn't fully strike me until I saw the number on the scale.

I'll be turning 27 next month. Sure, that's still plenty young, but I know I'm only getting closer to my metabolism starting to slow down and my skin starting to lose its elasticity. So I have to start taking care of the body that I have now. Maybe I've gotten away with a relatively lethargic lifestyle for the past 26 years, but I can't get away with that forever. And yeah, maybe I'm stuck with this pooch and an extra inch all around, even if I do up the ante on my exercise regime. That's probably my body preparing for child birth. (Hey, body! I never said that was what I wanted!) Maybe a lot of my wardrobe that I've built over the past few years is going to need to be updated to fit this new body I've grown into. (Hey! I'm not a young 20 year old any more! Maybe my style should reflect that.) And maybe my mind needs a little boost to remind me that change is ok, and it's inevitable, and that good things can come from it. For instance, maybe this is the push I need to get the motivation to find an exercise routine and stick to it. Or to save up money to do that yoga teacher certification I've been contemplating for years.

I'm strong! And I'm capable! And my body is good to me! I mean, I ran a 5K today!! I'm really proud to say that, despite how I may feel about the way my body looks these days.

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Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants.

I've recently been reading Michael Pollan's book In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto; in it he talks about the perils of the Western Diet and how we really need to make the shift back to eating real food, not the processed stuff that lines the majority of the shelves in our supermarkets. The book details the various processes that our 'food' goes through, from the way companies focus on supposed "nutrients" in products instead of the food item as a whole, to all the hormones and pesticides used in almost everything that we ingest. He also breaks down all the labels that are used on packaging (organic, grass-fed, free range, etc) and what they really mean. The second part of the book then focuses more on the shift back to eating real food. (His motto is eat food, not too much, mostly plants.) Because even things at the supermarket that are labeled organic could still be traveling all the way from China, you are much better off visiting farmer's markets or investing in a local CSA. Even if the farmers near you aren't necessarily growing organically, it's still better to buy and support local establishments; at least at a farm you can have a conversation with the people that are growing your food!

Most of this information isn't new to me; I've been buying from farmer's markets for the last three years (Philadelphia has an abundance of them, and here in NJ there are small farms all over the place.) and Shawn and I eat really well most of the time. Although we do eat a lot of grains (rice & pasta) and we indulge in various snacks from time to time (mostly chips and ice cream), when I'm shopping for food I've always focused more on the ingredients than the nutritional value. My motto is "If I can't pronounce it, it can't possibly be good for me." I've certainly never been one to count calories. And when it comes to things like labels on meat and eggs, I do my best to buy the least processed/most ethical options I can find. Michael Pollan's book has definitely helped confirm a lot of my suspicions about what's going on behind the scenes, and it has also opened my eyes to other sources and realities. I would definitely recommend picking up a copy if you have any interest at all in what you're feeding your body.

I also came across this TedX Talk, which pretty much sums up everything I just wrote. This kid is inspiring, and well educated. I only wish more people would take such an interest in changing the way we think about food! Especially kids! They really are our future.

I understand that not everyone has such easy access to farms, or even education about such things. That's the real default of the current food system; no one realizes that what they're eating is harming them, because no one is telling them what's really going on. Understandably, the people selling the processed food aren't going to be honest about what they're doing and what it's doing to you. The best we can do is count on each other to spread the word about reality; people like Michael Pollan and Birke Baehr are just telling others what they know, and hoping that most of us will choose to listen, and hopefully change our ways. It's only by changing our individual eating habits that we can succeed in making a national change.

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A little bit of honesty

Things have been pretty quiet on this blog for the past few months. I'm not going to apologize for my absence, because that's just silly! But blogging is about honesty, so I figure I owe all my readers a little explanation at the very least.

I love blogging. I love reading blogs - the peek it gives you into other people's lives; I love the blogger community - everyone seems so understanding and supportive of each other and that's more than I can say about most people offline; and I also love sharing a little bit of myself with whomever seems interested in reading. I've been blogging in some form or another since 2002. (Holy shi*, that's over 10 years!) I started out on Livejournal, ranting about my adolescent troubles. Then around 2006 I started The Sweet Tooth Blog (no longer up), my first foray into food blogging, where I documented my initial baking attempts and developed my love for all things yummy. In 2010 Shawn and I started I've Seen Some Things to document our new life after moving to Philadelphia. That blog turned into this one, Pictures & Paragraphs, after we moved back to New Jersey in 2012. I also started Between Three Kitchens in 2012 to step in as an official food blog with multiple contributors, but that went stagnant after only a few posts and I've made only half hearted attempts at resurrecting it. Somewhere along the line I lost my focus.

I wanted to keep blogging, but I didn't know what to blog about. To be perfectly honest, Shawn and I don't lead the most interesting of lives. But that's the way we like it! I work from 7am - 3pm most days, and he works until 7pm most days. In the time between when I get home and pick Shawn up from work, I'm usually running errands, exercising, or catching up on other blogs. Then I'm usually falling asleep on the couch by 9pm. Those aren't the most exciting things to write about, and I'm sure you don't want to hear about what I picked up from the grocery store on Monday, or about my 25-minute workout. And while we do still cook our own meals most nights of the week, they're never anything extravagant or worth posting a recipe for. So that's where I'm stuck. I used to blog about food, but without time to experiment or stray from my usual recipes, there's nothing to post. I used to blog about our excursions, but we spend most of our free time at home these days or we don't take photos when we do go out. I also don't want to be one of those bloggers that just posts photos of their cats (or squirrels!) all the time.

But I don't want to stop blogging. I do enjoy it, when I have something to share! I really like doing the Fun Finds Friday posts, because I'm always finding fun things to share. But lately those seem to be the only posts I've been doing, and even those are difficult somethings. The months of April and May have been super busy; between all the wedding-related stuff (friend's bridal showers, bachelorette parties, and actual weddings!), and Mother's Day/graduations/communions/wedding orders at work, by the time I get home I'm too exhausted to even turn on the computer for anything other than to check my emails. Then I feel bad because I'll go a few weeks between posting things on here. So I guess I'm torn between finding the time to blog, and figuring out what to blog about. I've always had a hard time with simple blog posts. I always feel the need to write paragraphs and post a ton of photos (hence the name of this blog), but I realize that sometimes just one photo and a few words is more than enough, and a few of those a week is better than nothing.

So I'd like to bring this blog back to what it was when Shawn and I first started it. Little bits and pieces of our life: things we're doing, places we've gone, food we've made/eaten, things we've found, things that we're excited about, things we love. I want to make more of an effort to post less, in a sense. More posts with simpler more intimate content. After all, isn't that what blogging is about? I strayed off the path for a little while, but I'm trying to find my way back. Please let me know if there's anything specific you'd like me to keep blogging about!

There are some big things on the horizon for us that I can't share here just yet. (That's one of the difficult part of blogging - you don't want your offline peeps to read about certain things online before you have a chance to tell them in person!) But hold tight and I promise I will share some news soon. In the meantime, thank you so much for reading Pictures & Paragraphs and taking an interest in this little life of mine, and the silly things I share when I can find the time.

I'm putting together a Fun Finds Friday post for later today, so check back!

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Fortune Cookie

Two weeks ago I had Chinese food for dinner with an old friend; I very rarely get Chinese food (Thai is a much preferred favorite of mine), so I was excited to open up my fortune cookie at the end of the meal.

"It isn't our position, but our disposition, that makes us happy."

It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me at first, but then I thought about various people that I know who are unhappy with their lives and their current situations, and I finally understood the meaning behind this simple fortune. Happiness does not come from external sources; you can't find it in your job, your friends and family, your house. Sure, these things may make you feel happy, but ultimately, genuine happiness comes from within - we must create it ourselves, and we really only have ourselves to blame when we are unhappy with elements of our lives. It's so easy to blame others for our unhappiness (ie. "I lost my job" or "I had to move back in with my parents" or "My significant other broke up with me"). I know, accepting negative life changes is hard! But that shouldn't turn you into a negative person. There are so many people out there that are in must worse positions than you or me, and yet somehow these people are able to embrace life and find happiness in the littlest of things. That's because they make their own happiness; they don't let their position in life keep them down.

If you keep a positive disposition, happiness will find its way into every aspect of your life.

I may sound like I'm preaching about happiness here, but the truth is that I come across an astounding amount of seemingly miserable people on a daily basis, and it leaves me wondering what got them into that mentality in the first place. Hello! We are alive! We get to breathe, walk, and talk on this Earth! We are so lucky to be able to explore all the beautiful geological aspects of this planet, and it's even more incredible that we are able to make connections with other people every day. And yes, sometimes life is rough, but when you look at the big picture, why would you want to live most of it with a negative mentality? We need to take it all in stride - take the good with the bad - maybe then we'll find that most often times, the good overrides the bad and when we can focus on that, then we can be truly happy.

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Just a bit of online shopping...

I usually don't shop for clothing online. It's hard for me to find things that fit well enough in stores, so buying anything over the internet is a big gamble. There's the pain of having to return it if it doesn't fit, and the extra cost of shipping in the first place. Lately I've really been appreciating clothing retailers with user reviews - it's like an insider's look at how the fit/quality of an item really is; even better if they have photos or list their own measurements. It wasn't even until recently that I started to actually pay attention to my measurements instead of just ordering my usual numbered sizes or corresponding S/M/L. It's no surprise then that when you buy clothing according to your actual measurements, clothing actually fits!

I've decided that this year, I'd really like to start wearing skirts and dresses for more than just 'fancy' occasions. Shawn and I aren't really fancy people, so there's no point in holding off on wearing my nicer clothing - why not make it a regular every-day affair? I already have quite the collection of skirts in my closet, so I thought it would be nice to fill it in with a few more dresses. My grandmother started me off nicely with a new dress for Christmas so, feeling inspired, I splurged a bit this month and bought a few things I'd had my eyes on.

(Click on the photos to enlarge)


New dress from When Decades Collide on Etsy

New dress from eShakti

New coat from Modcloth
Dresses from the 50's era really appeal to me, particularly because they are shaped perfectly for my figure. That first dress is vintage, and I'm in love with the adorable floral pattern. It fits a little snug in the bust, but otherwise it's the perfect spring/summer dress. And it arrived so quickly- no more than three days after I ordered it! The second dress fits like a dream, because of eShakti's custom sizing option. It's the perfect little-black-dress for the warmer months, and I'm looking forward to getting some wear of it. I'm going to be a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding in July, and after seeing this dress she's considering having all of her bridesmaids order from eShakti. It would be amazing if I get to wear this dress for her wedding, but I'm happy just to have it in my closet.

As for the coat, it's a great neutral color that pairs with pretty much everything. The fit is incredibly flattering, I love the stitching details, and the belt really pulls it together. I have two other wool coats already... but I had been on the lookout for a basic 'every-day' coat that wasn't too loud (bright red) or fancy (long, dark, & tailored) like my other two and this one fit the bill. The reviews are what really convinced me - everyone seemed to love this coat, and I'm no different! It's also worth mentioning that Modcloth was an awesome company to deal with. Shipping was fast and free, and the packaging was adorable. They even sent me a free gift!

Oh and you may have noticed the new hair cut and color I had done by my awesome hairdresser :) It's the first time I've dyed it in over eight years! Now that it has had some time to fade a bit (it was so intense the first week!), I'm really loving it, and looking forward to watching it grow out. Shawn is actually trying to convince me to go all blonde... and I can't say I haven't been considering it!


*** I thought I should note that I was not paid by any of these companies to talk about their products. I'm just really happy with each experience and I wanted to share my enthusiasm!

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Looking Back on 2012

Happy new year! Now that it's 2013, I really don't have much to say about 2012 other than it was a year full of change and growth. Change, because we encountered quite a few of them this past year; from moving out of our apartment of two years in suburban Philadelphia back to our roots in New Jersey, starting new jobs, leaving new friends behind and reuniting with old ones. Growth, because that's all that can really come of change. If you don't grow a little bit -both emotionally and psychologically- each year, well, then you haven't really lived fruitfully, I'd say.

Here's a look back at 2012, instagram-style:


Seeing those initial signs of spring from last year make me yearn for warmer weather; I can't wait until the flowers start to bloom again and the days go back to being longer... winter sure is beautiful though!

Some things to remember about 2012:
- An abundance of tasty meals with friends.
- Grilling! Lots and lots of grilling.
- New jobs, new tricks.
- Our first vacation in over three years! With disaster attached, of course.
- Our very first real Christmas tree!

I'm not really one to make New Years resolutions, seeing as most of the time they don't get accomplished (See: 2011, 2012). Last year I had an unspoken goal to read one book each month... and I succeeded!! I ended out the year having read 16 books total! This year, I'm keeping the same goal. When I was younger I would read constantly, but for a few years after high school I got really out of the habit of reading regularly, so I'm super happy to be making time for it again! Having an actual 30-minute sit-down lunch break at work certainly helps.

The only other goal I have this year is to buy less and make more. Every year I try to tap into my creative side, whether it's with paper crafts, sewing, or dabbling in jewelry-making. This year it should be a little easier since my parents got me a whole year of Whimseybox! I can't wait to get my first box in the mail- let the crafting ensue! One of the books I read in November also got me thinking about where my clothing comes from and how it's made, and in turn I'm trying to be more conscious of these things. I'd love to start making some of my own clothing, and buying vintage over the ill-fitting cheaper trends of today's retail world.

That's a wrap. I wish you all a beautiful start to the new year!

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Keeping Things Organized

It took me almost a year but I finally got my side of the closet organized. Honestly, I don't know what took me so long, especially being the obsessive-compulsive kind of person that I am! Our bedroom closet has these wonderfully built-in shelves, but I wasn't utilizing them to the best of my abilities. I think I was still bitter about having to leave my wonderfully-built-to-my-needs closet at my parents' house behind (I mean seriously, have you seen IKEA's closets?!) - there was a place for everything!

The big push was when I saw the closet clean-up Sherry did over at Young House Love a couple of weeks ago. Her various bins and methods of storage inspired me to go to Target and buy a couple bins of my own. I finally got to the actual organizing part last Sunday while Shawn was at work.

The whole process took me about two hours, on and off. Of course, halfway thru project organization I realized that I completely forgot to take any 'before' photos of the closet, so I only have some 'after' photos to share. Oh well, my bad. Just imagine the same space, minus the fabric bins, with piles of various clothing on the shelves to the left of the hanging rack, bags of to-be-donated clothing on the shelf above the rack, and the shelf with all my jewelry had necklaces and things strewn about all over the place. A little sorting, hammering, and folding and a few hours later the closet looks like this:

New storage - yay!
I was originally storing all of my undergarments in that little green drawer unit that's underneath the built-in shelves, but it occurred to me that I needed to access those things on a more regular basis than my 'lounge' clothes that were taking up space on the built-ins; so I put all my undergarments in the new fabric bins I bought, and I stored away all of my tank tops, funny t-shirts, and pj/sweat pants in the green drawers. This keeps the mess on the shelves down, and hides all the clothes I don't need to see on a regular basis.


Sweaters, shorts, and hangers - oh my!
I took all the bags of to-be-donated clothing off the top shelf (they still haven't been donated yet, but at least they're no longer taking up space in our closet) and I moved all of my warmer weather clothing up top - my long sleeved shirts, sweaters, and bulky sweatshirts. The bin on the top-most shelf contains all my sports clothing and extra purses, and the pile next to it is all my shorts, since it's still not really warm enough to wear any of those yet. As far as the clothing on the hangers goes, I hung up all of my button-down shirts, skirts, dresses, and jackets, and stored all my belts on that nifty circle hanger from IKEA.


Jewelry all hung up and stored neatly, with plenty of room left over.
I think my favorite part of this whole re-organization process was my jewelry shelf - I hammered pins into the molding from which to hang my necklaces.... all 20+ of them. I honestly didn't realize I have quite that many necklaces! I guess that's what I get for finally organizing everything. I also bought a 3-compartment tray to store all of my earrings, bracelets, and various little knick-knacks.

Yay for complete closet organization! It has definitely helped me these last few days- putting an outfit together has never been so easy! And since we're already on the topic of style-related-things, I'm going to talk about my hair...

My bangs finally grew out to a more manageable length, so I've been spending a little time playing around with various hairstyles every morning. Lately I've been a fan of the ponytail flip, mostly because I'm getting sick of sporting a regular ole ponytail or bun all the time. I've also taught myself how to french braid! (only the front of my hair though, and it's still rough... I don't know if I'll ever be able to cleanly braid the back of my head.)

Shawn laughs at the amount of time I've been spending in front of the bathroom mirror lately, but there are a couple of more complex hairstyles I can't seem to get down quite yet: heidi braids, the fishtail, and these little twists. But there is one twist-and-pin style that I've finally succeeded at!


(see the tutorial at Hair Romance)
I actually did the twist-and-hairtie, because bobby pins just can't seem to stay put in my hair. Mostly I'm just proud of myself because I spent a decent amount of time trying to figure out what initially appears to be a fairly simple hair style, but proves to be something much more complicated (for me, at least). The twists would end up too high on my head, or one way larger than the rest, or they just wouldn't even stay put at all. But after much messing around, I finally struggled my hair into submission. What? I'm a girl; I never said I wasn't girly.

If that was too much closet & hair-talk for you, well, boo-hoo. No apologies here. Just let me bask in the glory of my clean closet and hair-styling-success.

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